There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
