I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
