my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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