This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
