please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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