Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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