No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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