I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
