theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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