Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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