Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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