i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
