Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
