The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize