Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
