Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
