I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
