I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
