Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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