i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize