You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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