The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
