Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
