Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
