How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
