I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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