you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
