Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
