you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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