I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
