I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
