That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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