I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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