Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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