And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
