Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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