just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
