Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
