Whod you bang
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
