a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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