I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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