And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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