so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't think brook has ever known best
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
