jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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