It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
