I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
