Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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