dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize