so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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