they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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