I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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