i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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