shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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