I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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