Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
