the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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