The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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