I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
