I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
