I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
